tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67340495932785840792024-02-19T19:49:05.534-06:00Six Billion Idiots, So Little TimeThere are over six billion humans on planet earth, and a minimum of six billion complete morons. This is one man's futile attempt to document them all.Alistarrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02346176591041533709noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734049593278584079.post-44854412751807124952011-04-07T20:38:00.000-05:002011-04-07T20:38:32.871-05:00Idiots #3 and 4: You're doing it wrongThere's a time and place for everything, but I think these two didn't think their plan through.<br />
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<a href="http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/news/x816845181/Police-arrest-two-men-after-fight-at-Chuck-E-Cheese-in-Natick">Mr. Cheese wants to know why you would do this thing, on this, the day of his daughter's wedding</a><br />
<blockquote> Two men pleaded not guilty today in Framingham District Court after Natick Police said they started a fight during a child's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on Saturday.</blockquote>Okay, so far so good. I've never been in a Chuck E. Cheese and not wanted to hit something.<br />
<blockquote> According to a police report, the pair were at Estime's son's birthday party and appeared to have been drinking. Estime got into an argument with <b>his son's mother's cousin</b> because Estime was harassing that man's daughter who was playing air hockey.</blockquote> "His son's mother's cousin." Okay, the redneck picture is starting to come into focus.<br />
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<blockquote>During the argument, Estime shoved both the man and a Chuck E. Cheese employee, while Tavares punched the man, police said.</blockquote>Okay, here's why these two are idiots. I heartily endorse violence at Chuck E. Cheese, but why the heck are you hitting another human being, when you could go postal on this:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS7reqqOtBoSuIfI-1GPIPjI2vUTUqDXFyBOfGScD_QTvR5pvnlzP5qEYBJfRX85bkboMF2TFYgdDsm2taCrqBtUIow4gGvlmtizEEvI3bcYSkGJ9uz_8VRG_Ey-n2OpMLBRE9HzEpf_8/s1600/chucke-cheese.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhS7reqqOtBoSuIfI-1GPIPjI2vUTUqDXFyBOfGScD_QTvR5pvnlzP5qEYBJfRX85bkboMF2TFYgdDsm2taCrqBtUIow4gGvlmtizEEvI3bcYSkGJ9uz_8VRG_Ey-n2OpMLBRE9HzEpf_8/s320/chucke-cheese.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bring it, punk. I've got an itch that cheese won't scratch.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</tbody></table>Idiots.Alistarrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02346176591041533709noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734049593278584079.post-83593525344730557692011-03-31T08:04:00.002-05:002011-04-07T22:26:36.890-05:00Idiot #2: "At Least I Still Have My $20" Guy<div style="text-align: center;">Kenny Rogers had it all figured out. "You've got to know when to hold'em, know when to not be an idiot."</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/he_out_of_luck_SFNCcaLtOfTb8ry5Pj6WKK">A bird in the hand is worth $16 million in the bush</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: left;">A hapless state information-technology worker who usually joined his office lottery pool took a pass last week -- only to learn that seven positive-thinking pals nailed a whopping $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, said a deli owner who knows the winners. </div></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-BsdtaXC9fwBL_TjDDEUsf-19uLScMXX_fjhdXtMj6MjcTLALgye1OlpGzBReQ59uxqa3XsjUcjNVXt8vh1iANp4rcHjMnWBwgZP2Ve5KyDx-FK6TAOyO0tCMaegvajqP4mW4leE80wQ/s1600/Big_Balls_Lottery_funny_adult_costume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-BsdtaXC9fwBL_TjDDEUsf-19uLScMXX_fjhdXtMj6MjcTLALgye1OlpGzBReQ59uxqa3XsjUcjNVXt8vh1iANp4rcHjMnWBwgZP2Ve5KyDx-FK6TAOyO0tCMaegvajqP4mW4leE80wQ/s200/Big_Balls_Lottery_funny_adult_costume.jpg" width="160" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-BsdtaXC9fwBL_TjDDEUsf-19uLScMXX_fjhdXtMj6MjcTLALgye1OlpGzBReQ59uxqa3XsjUcjNVXt8vh1iANp4rcHjMnWBwgZP2Ve5KyDx-FK6TAOyO0tCMaegvajqP4mW4leE80wQ/s1600/Big_Balls_Lottery_funny_adult_costume.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div> Great timing, Amazing Creskin. Chipped in for weeks, and then skips the one time when it would actually count. The only question left?<br />
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"></div><div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;"><div class="intext_area" id="intext_area_middle"><div class="intext_object intext_video"><div class="btn videos"><div class="btn_body"><a href="http://www.nypost.com/video" name="&lid=btn&lpos=videos"> <span class="prefix"></span></a> </div></div></div><div class="block ad wrap quigo_intext" style="z-index: 1;"><div class="ad quigo_intext"></div></div></div><blockquote style="color: #f3f3f3;">"They asked him twice. They said, 'Are you sure?' and he said yeah, he was going to pass this time. I feel horrible for him."</blockquote><div style="color: #f3f3f3;">Does he count as just one idiot, or does he take up one spot on the idiot list for each time he said "Nah, I'm gonna pass this time." ? </div><br />
</div>Alistarrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02346176591041533709noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6734049593278584079.post-12093421065445556262011-03-30T22:30:00.002-05:002011-03-30T23:15:30.761-05:00Idiot #1: The Guy Trying To Cut In Line<div style="text-align: center;">Let's start things off with our very first example of an idiot... <br />
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<a href="http://www.app.com/article/20110328/NJNEWS/110328057/Asbury-Park-man-accused-pointing-gun-woman-who-would-not-let-him-cut-line?odyssey=tab%7Ctopnews%7Ctext%7CFrontpage">Asbury Park man accused of pointing loaded gun at city woman</a></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: left;">A 50-year-old city man has been arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon after pointing a loaded gun at a woman who wouldn't let him cut into a checkout line, according to police and court documents.</div></blockquote>Okay...so far, so good. He remembered his Boy Scout training and went shopping prepared.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpxdNI3Z9HZzwtamw8-Y6OHBlk3xT-9y-GO7Cq9BwotFm-M72j8xnawvxU8VmZvCKA0k98z5L_R7uXdbiVkrJuPa4M-ZYa44k27aozyyuEI94KVtaF_R8Dg9Vrde49wUNaxJeZQd68OwE/s1600/1301539450124.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpxdNI3Z9HZzwtamw8-Y6OHBlk3xT-9y-GO7Cq9BwotFm-M72j8xnawvxU8VmZvCKA0k98z5L_R7uXdbiVkrJuPa4M-ZYa44k27aozyyuEI94KVtaF_R8Dg9Vrde49wUNaxJeZQd68OwE/s320/1301539450124.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wait your turn, dammit.</td></tr>
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Why is he an idiot? <br />
<blockquote>Avorn Brown, of Mattison Avenue, has been charged with illegal possession of a .357 magnum Smith & Wesson handgun and<b> two hollow point bullets for the gun</b>. </blockquote><i> Two bullets?</i> What kind of idiot leaves his house "Armed With Intent To Not Wait To Check Out" and only brings <b><i>two</i></b> bullets?<br />
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Idiot #1, that's who.Alistarrhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02346176591041533709noreply@blogger.com1