Thursday, March 31, 2011

Idiot #2: "At Least I Still Have My $20" Guy

Kenny Rogers had it all figured out. "You've got to know when to hold'em, know when to not be an idiot."

A hapless state information-technology worker who usually joined his office lottery pool took a pass last week -- only to learn that seven positive-thinking pals nailed a whopping $319 million Mega Millions jackpot, said a deli owner who knows the winners.
 Great timing, Amazing Creskin. Chipped in for weeks, and then skips the one time when it would actually count. The only question left?
"They asked him twice. They said, 'Are you sure?' and he said yeah, he was going to pass this time. I feel horrible for him."
Does he count as just one idiot, or does he take up one spot on the idiot list for each time he said "Nah, I'm gonna pass this time." ?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Idiot #1: The Guy Trying To Cut In Line

Let's start things off with our very first example of an idiot...

Asbury Park man accused of pointing loaded gun at city woman
A 50-year-old city man has been arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon after pointing a loaded gun at a woman who wouldn't let him cut into a checkout line, according to police and court documents. far, so good. He remembered his Boy Scout training and went shopping prepared.

Wait your turn, dammit.

Why is he an idiot?
Avorn Brown, of Mattison Avenue, has been charged with illegal possession of a .357 magnum Smith & Wesson handgun and two hollow point bullets for the gun.
 Two bullets? What kind of idiot leaves his house "Armed With Intent To Not Wait To Check Out" and only brings two bullets?

Idiot #1, that's who.